9/25/06: Carnival In Rio (1983)Having worked through the 4th of July and Labor Day, we’re looking forward to a few days off here at RightWingTrash—and it’s one of the few times that Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger will be our role model. We wish the guy was more conservative, but there’s no doubt that Schwarzenegger can have a good time on the beach.
Carnival In Rio has become a popular underground item over the past few years, for the same reason that good Leftists rushed to screen
Bedtime for Bonzo when Ronald Reagan was running for President. Both films end up working in favor of their stars. Just as
Bonzo makes Reagan look like a good sport,
Carnival In Rio captures Schwarzenegger during a particularly giddy time. Why shouldn’t a rising movie star take advantage of a free trip to Brazil to shoot a cheesy travelogue?
Especially during, as Schwarzenegger describes it, “a non-stop five-day party where a whole city goes absolutely crazy.”
With a
Conan film behind him and
The Terminator to come, Schwarzenegger is perfectly at ease making a complete ass out of himself. God only knows what kind of direction he was given, but the future Governor gladly provides narration about “gorgeous mulatto bodies moving in a way that even a fitness expert like myself can’t believe.”
He spends the video saying these kinds of things while paired with assorted gorgeous babes—climaxing in a bizarre scene where he suggestively feeds his lunch companion a carrot while he learns a little Brazilian. (“Chupar,” which is “to suck.”) This scene may also feature the softest focus in the history of cinema. Playboy Video reissued this in the early ’90s, but the cinematography is pure
Penthouse.
Schwarzenegger’s opponents could learn a lot from watching this tape. They recently failed to rile the public with the Governor’s candid comments about hot-blooded Latinas.
Carnival In Rio reveals why Schwarzenegger’s past can never come back to haunt him. It’s like that
Oui interview from ’77, where Schwarzenegger discussed sex at the gym. You know, 1983 in Brazil was pretty much still the ’70s. The guy’s Arnold Schwarzenegger. What do you expect him to do in Rio—visit a museum?
No, you want him watching sexy dancers and agreeing with his Brazilian host that “the sexual part of the woman is the ass.” Schwarzenegger is also agreeing with that as “the Brazilian point of view—the American view is suppressed.” See, he’s speaking as a fitness expert, but already thinking globally. Now if he’ll just cover the citizens’ asses on property taxes…
Make it your own: The complete video is overpriced. Having sat through the whole thing, it’s no surprise to see the obvious highlights available on
YouTube.
