3/13/07: RightWingTrashMan: Andy SidarisWe farmed out a TrashMan tribute
yesterday, but today’s is personal. Just about any guy’s enjoyment of the films of
Andy Sidaris was personal. Sadly, there are now plenty of obituaries honoring the former TV sports director who became a master of late-night cable T&A films. The kids who grew up with Aaron Spelling and
Charlie’s Angels would later love Sidaris as the writer/producer/director who brought their dreams to maturity.
But the best thing about Sidaris is that he never sold out his vision of hot spy babes taking off their clothes while thwarting bad guys (and bad babes). The foxy Feds of L.E.T.H.A.L.—aka the Legion to Ensure Total Harmony and Law—didn’t waste time fighting their own government. Sidaris didn’t even care when the Clinton administration came oozing to the White House. His plots remained true to the red, white, and blue—whether the colors flew from Old Glory or flew to the breeze as a discarded bathing suit.
Take a look at Sidaris’ fine ’90s output:
Do or Die (1991) has our L.E.T.H.A.L. ladies taking on evil Hawaiian drug lord Pat Morita.
Hard Hunted (1992) follows the femmes as they keep a nuclear trigger from being smuggled into the Mideast, while
Fit to Kill (1993) shows our heroines taking on rogue Russians because you still can’t trust some of those guys.
Day of the Warrior (1996) draws a line in the sand of Bikini Beach as the ladies shut down a porn studio. We can’t remember the plot of
L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach (1998), but that was Sidaris’ final film. Maybe the storyline didn’t matter too much on that one.
The important thing is that we never sat down to enjoy an Andy Sidaris movie and watched as perfectly fine trash was ruined by intrusive moronic politics. That’s a rare pleasure. Most filmmakers churning out sexy trash feel compelled to throw in some kind of Leftist nod to the big Hollywood studios. Sidaris was a true outsider. He earned his millions.
Make him your own: It’s only proper to celebrate Sidaris in excess. Grab yourself
a handful of box sets and individual DVDs—and notice that all of his films have a uniquely high resale value. Andy Sidaris only made keepers.
Also, check out this really lame Sidaris
obituary from the
Washington Times. You get the feeling that the poor reporter was about to suffer a serious attack of the vapors. And remember how
we said there was only one way that
300 could be better? Well,
300 would also have been better if Andy Sidaris had directed it. There are no disfigured lesbians in an Andy Sidaris movie.
