5/28/08: The Nasty Rabbit (1964)The big story out of Cannes—at least for conservative types—was MGM’s plan to remake 1984’s
Red Dawn. Everyone’s wondering if the new version will be brave Canadians fighting invading Americans, or maybe a sensitive tale of how Iran has no choice but to take over some U.S. territory.
Leftist takes on
Red Dawn aren’t anything new. Still, we’re not concerned about the original’s legacy. The movie’s kind of a cartoon, mostly notable for Harry Dean Stanton as a dad to die for. There’s also that great scene where the freedom-fighting teens dole out the death penalty for treason. That’s when we learned
Red Dawn wasn’t worried about offending the critics.
Anyway,
The Nasty Rabbit is a superior tale of a young American taking on Russkies in the American mountain ranges. Arch Hall, Jr. was barely out of his teens when he starred in his father’s low-budget comedy. Arch Hall, Sr. handed over the director’s chair, and simply produced and co-wrote this typical Hall family production. (We mentioned
Eegah earlier.)
The Nasty Rabbit was Arch Hall’s attempt at a live-action cartoon on the level of Frank Tashlin’s work. He ended up closer to something like Joe McCarthy’s vision of
Wacky Races.
We don’t endorse gratuitous offensive content, but you have to love
The Nasty Rabbit’s collection of stereotypical spies trying to stop a biochemical attack out of Moscow. It’s fun just to see a United Nations of spies who actually try to do some good. There’s Mexican spy Pancho Gonzales (looking more like the Frito Bandito) and a Western German agent with unfortunate Nazi tendencies. Col. Kobayaski looks like he just came out of a 23-year stay in the mountains of the Philippines. Israel is represented by a short old guy who was probably recruited from the Borscht Belt. There’s also pioneering sexbomb Liz Renay as Cecelia Solomon. She must be a Hungarian agent, since Renay spends the film doing a Zsa Zsa impersonation.
They’re trying to stop Soviet agent Mischa Lowzoff from releasing a toxic plague stored in a vial that’s cleverly placed around the neck of a white rabbit. (Soviets don’t trust pockets, it seems.) Mischa isn’t a stereotype. There were probably plenty of real Russian agents gloating, “Soon, not one capitalist pig will be left on Earth.”
Mischa’s superior—played by Arch Hall, Sr.—isn’t too bright, though. He sends the heavily-accented Mischa to a dude ranch, where the Soviet agent tries to pass as a cowboy from Montana. He doesn’t fool anyone. Solomon teasingly points out that she’s never heard of a cowboy who drinks vodka. “I’m half-Indian,” explains Mischa.
These agents don’t seem worried about impending doom. They spend their time tormenting Mischa and laughing at his inability to rope a steer. There wouldn’t be another Russian agent taking this much abuse until
Red Scorpion. Fortunately, there’s an American who treats things more seriously. As noted, he’s Arch Hall, Jr. as Britt Hunter, who’s a perfect American-dream stereotype as a dashing secret agent/rock ’n roll star.
Hunter even stops serenading his audience at the dude ranch when the rabbit goes missing. That’s okay. His backing band includes Pat & Lolly Vegas, and they step up to perform a regional hit called “Robot Walk.” (This was a few years before the Vegas Brothers suddenly discovered they were Native Americans and found chart success as Redbone.) Hunter sort of saves the day and gets the girl. As for the Russkies—well, they’re bad guys, but they appreciate America enough to foreshadow a certain theme park’s most notable ad campaign.
Also, the rabbit speaks in an Alvin & the Chipmunks-style voice. He’s the cutest doomsday device ever.
Make it your own: The cheap
Alpha Video DVD of
The Nasty Rabbit is a perfectly fine print.
Johnny Legend’s video imprint, however, just released a double-feature DVD that pairs
Prehistoric Women with a superior
Nasty Rabbit print. More importantly, the Legend House version reclaims the film’s superior original title of
Spies A Go-Go. Today’s graphic is taken from an old VHS box. It’s what you call a juxtaposition.
You can’t get “Robot Walk” on CD—at least, not the Vegas Brothers’ version. We’ve got a Champs album with a track called “Robot Walk,” but it doesn’t sound the same. There’s also no
Nasty Rabbit music on the Arch Hall, Jr. career comp
Wild Guitar! You still get plenty of great songs, including
Eegah’s “Brownsville Road” and the truly important “Theme from
Eegah.” You’d pay full list price just for the info-packed CD booklet. Well, we would.
