9/30/08: The Baby (1973)
Things certainly seem dire for the young man known only as Baby. For
one thing, he’s the title character in a movie directed by Ted Post in
the 1970s. That’s always strange territory. Also, Baby is 21 years old
and being raised as an infant by his weird grown sisters and weirder
mom. They all insist that poor Baby is profoundly retarded, and that’s
why he stays in a giant crib and crawls on the floor. But there’s good
news. Social worker Ann Gentry has taken a keen interest in Baby’s
case. She’s from the government, and she’s here to help.
Ann slowly becomes convinced that Baby is actually a perfectly normal
young man. The loony femmes in the Wadsworth family have simply kept
him subjugated for their own amusement. Mrs. Wadsworth is a strangely
sexy domme figure, and sisters Alba and Germaine alternate between
sadistic, seductive, and needy. These weird Wadsworth women certainly
aren’t going to make it easy for Ann to discover if Baby can become
self-sufficient. They’re immediately suspicious of this social worker
who cares enough to even check in on Baby during the weekends.
Actually, that is kind of suspicious—which is part of the genius of
The Baby. We’re entering some SPOILER territory, so you might not want to read anything past this paragraph. On the other hand,
The Baby
is a real (albeit PG) sleazefest. A lot of people wouldn’t want to
endure a proper viewing. We’ll keep giving away the story here as a
public service.
The Baby oozes along for a
while with its bizarre plotline. Highlights include a birthday party
where assorted lowlifes spill beer on the floor where Baby is creeping
along. It seems Baby doesn’t have a strict bedtime—although one of his
sisters tries to enforce the issue.
The Baby
only gets more brutal to watch as the Wadsworths take on the ultimate
task of trying to get Ann fired from her government job. This means
war, with Ann finally going all Dirty Harry and turning in her polite
social worker badge.
Yet even more SPOILERS from here to right through when we suggest that you buy your own copy:
In what’s considered to be a great SHOCK ENDING of the ’70s, we learn
that Ann’s determination to liberate Baby isn’t altruistic at all. It
must’ve been more of a SHOCK ENDING in the ’70s to discover that a
government representative isn’t looking to help a young man take care
of himself. In this case, we finally learn that Ann’s husband once
suffered a severe head injury and is in need of a playmate.
This leads to a kind of happy ending. Ann’s husband was a successful
architect, so it doesn’t look like our tax dollars will be spent on
keeping Baby in diapers. Baby’s evil family was looking for government
benefits, so all those dames get what they deserve. Too bad about
Baby’s lost potential, but that’s what happens when you grow up being
valued as a meal ticket. Did we mention he gets a new playmate?
Make it your own: An older release is getting expensive. but
the 2005 DVD on the Geneon label can be found cheap. It doesn’t look any worse than other prints we’ve seen—although there’s also
a VHS copy of recent vintage out there.
Let’s add some praise for
The Baby’s
amazing cast. Ruth Roman is brilliant as the Wadsworth matriarch, and
Marianna Hill and Susanne Zenor provide daring turns as her daughters.
The social worker is played by Anjanette Comer. All these ladies give
performances far more shameless than David Mooney’s as Baby—although he
always gets all the praise. It’s a good performance as far as big
babies go, but he’s no Stephen Furst in
The Unseen.
