3/5/09: “Livewire” (1997)
Watchmen opens tomorrow, but we’ve already covered
its conservative precursor. (
Both of them, actually.) Now let’s complain about how people act as if
The Incredibles was some kind of big innovation. We love the film as much as any right-winger, but there wasn’t anything new to the Ayn Randish take on persecuted do-gooders. The first episode of the ’60s
Batman TV series was about The Riddler setting the Caped Crusader up for a lawsuit. By the third episode, the Joker was complaining that Batman’s utility belt was unconstitutional. But we’ve already covered many aspects of that classic show
here.
Now let’s look at a more recent superhero program—but not so recent that it doesn’t pre-date
The Incredibles.
Superman: The Animated Series was a smart cartoon paired with a similar Batman show as overblown art deco fun. There was plenty of complicated plotting, with the occasional stand-alone story. Those would include “Livewire,” in which Superman has to battle the same mass media that keeps Clark Kent employed.*
The episode opens with Clark and Lois Lane as guests of shock-jock radio personality Leslie Willis (voiced by Lori Petty). The radio host can’t stand Superman, and is having a good time implying that Lois is sleeping with the Man of Steel. This self-proclaimed “Queen of All Media” is clearly a Howard Stern type, but her politics are far more predictable—and not just because Leslie looks like a soft-butch Rachel Maddow.
Leslie’s biggest complaint about Supes, for example, is that “he thinks only of himself.” That statement is contrasted against footage of Superman saving an infant. Later that night, Leslie holds a big outdoor concert to celebrate the anniversary of her radio show. As further confirmation of her political leanings, there’s a fake Superman onstage who’s acting like a moron. The “S” on his chest is a dollar sign.
There’s an electrical storm raging, but Leslie rallies the crowd when the cops try to shut down the event. To be fair, we’ll likely be supporting plenty of crowds that the cops try to shut down during the next four years. In this case, though, Leslie is clearly in the wrong. That’s made clear when the real Superman swoops in to lecture her about how she’s endangering her fans.
The good news is that Leslie is also endangering herself. She gets a nasty shock when lightning hits the stage. Superman rushes her to the hospital, and then faces a hostile Metropolitan press. The first thing he’s asked is why he didn’t push Leslie out of the way of the lightning strike.
“There wasn’t time,” Superman replies.
“Are you sure of that?”
Sadly, Leslie survives to find herself transformed into a creature of pure energy. She calls herself Livewire and gives herself a new-wave makeover with a revealing outfit—now that she can change her shape to look good in it. Livewire quickly takes over the Metropolis airwaves. She announces that she’s saving the city from the banality of home-shopping networks, and everyone will be able to enjoy her imposing presence everywhere. Livewire doesn’t care that she’s also blocking things like air-traffic communications.
Superman steps in to save Metropolis’ sanity. The battle includes one of the great S&M moments in a frequently kinky genre, as Superman bounds Livewire in some rubber cord. “Now,” he announces, “I’ll drain some of the power out of you until you’re a little more manageable.”
See how that sounds? That’s not just us, right?
Livewire will also end up complaining that Superman hits girls. He finally manages to defeat the whiney talk-radio host, and you’d think that would be a happy ending. Too bad that Superman has his own private hell. The episode ends with Clark Kent listening to the radio, as other talk-radio hosts complain about Superman’s excessive use of force. Meanwhile, Livewire is in custody and her eyes begin to glow. Something’s firing her up again.
Make it your own: This one aired late in
the first season of
Superman: The Animated Series. That entire run was pretty great. So was the second season, where Livewire returns for more kinky wordplay—some of it shared with The Parasite, as voiced by legendary genre star Brion James. By the third season, the producers were doing things like bringing in Supergirl and featuring Jimmy Olsen for an entire episode.
*The only thing we’ve agreed with Peggy Noonan on for the past few years is that it’s okay to use the word “media” as singular.
