4/28/09: Jet Pilot (1957)
We’d guess that writer/director Larry Cohen has made the most appearances on this site. That’s probably followed by writer/director (and frequent Cohen collaborator) William Lustig. There’s also been a lot here about Charlton Heston. John Wayne, however, is probably underrepresented. That’s mostly because we take John Wayne very seriously. He had his share of trash, though, including this dizzy disaster of a romantic comedy that’s packed with sexploitation.

Jet Pilot opens with an American airstrip getting a surprise visit from a Russian aircraft. Colonel Jim Shannon (that’s Wayne) is on the ground and demanding that the Russian jet be brought down undamaged. He’s comically exasperated at how his pilots are always eager just to shoot down the Commies. The plane lands on the base, and Wayne and his fellow officers are surprised to see that the pilot is Lieutenant Anna Marladovna—played by Janet Leigh, who seems to have flown in from the command of Russian general Max Factor. She speaks perfect English, too. (Leigh doesn’t even attempt a Russian accent.)

Shannon doesn’t trust Anna’s story about seeking political asylum. “Your story’s too simple for a Russian,” he explains. “Too smart and too straight.” Anna can’t understand why Shannon doesn’t trust Russians, since he fought alongside them in WWII.

“Where have you been all this time?”

“Russia,” answers Anna.

“That explains it.”

Anna casually strips to get searched in Shannon’s office. It’s an impressive scene in what’s now a G-rated movie. “This might be some new form of Russian propaganda,” muses Shannon. “Maybe they really are trying to make friends and influence people.” Anna still refuses to give up any information about the Soviet military. “Your precious freedom,” she scoffs. “It has to be bought.”

“Why not?” asks a general. “We paid a high price for it.” Anna is soon talking about how “the individual has no right to even think of himself.” (That’s no overblown screenwriting, by the way. It’s klassic Khrushchev.) Shannon tells Anna that she can’t expect any sympathy just because America is a free country. That would be “cooking the calf in the milk of her mother.” Anna’s now noticeably less flirtatious with Shannon.

The guy from the CIA still picks up on the sexual tension between the two. He suggests they stay together. Shannon is soon giving Anna the run of his Air Force base. They go up in the sky to show each other their combat flying skills—which also makes for some great airborne erotica. “That’s the tightest turn I’ve ever seen,” says Anna, “but I’ll get inside you just the same.”

This is a good time to point out that this is a Howard Hughes production. The film has a typically weird history. Hughes tinkered with the work of director Josef von Sternberg for several years. Production began in late 1949, and the film wasn’t released until 1957. At this point in the script, Jet Pilot is still a nice Hepburn & Tracy comedy for the Cold War era. Shannon can’t even try kissing Anna without sparking a political debate. He finally seduces her with a shopping trip to Palm Springs.

 “Capitalism has certain dangerous advantages,” Anna notes while surveying the bikini displays.

“That’s one thing we have in common with the Soviets,” says Shannon. “We both believe in uplifting the, uh, masses”

Shannon is also smart enough to take Anna out for a steak. Of course, the military has kept a close eye on Anna throughout all this. They confirm that Anna’s a spy just as Shannon really falls for her. The two elope to Yuma, Arizona when the generals decide to deport her. Then the two fly off to Russia, where Anna returns to being called Olga and puts her hair up in a Princess Leia hairstyle—and still doesn’t bother with a Russian accent.

From there, it’s plenty of merry traitorous hi-jinks. This isn’t quite a rom-com Dr. Strangelove, and it’s not as funny as Fail Safe. Jet Pilot is still a lot of fun. There’s plenty of witty banter, and Wayne’s always great in a comic role. It’s also the only comedy you’ll ever see where making love is (positively) compared to working an assembly line.

Make it your own: The original Jet Pilot DVD is out of print and pricey, but you can also find the film on the John Wayne: An American Icon Collection. It puts together a lot of Wayne’s weirdest movies, including his reunion with Howard Hughes to play Genghis Khan in The Conqueror—which really is as bad as people remember.

 

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